


The Silent Star

by DaimeryanRei



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Christmas, M/M, Seasonal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8979040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaimeryanRei/pseuds/DaimeryanRei
Summary: His friends mean well, but there's only one person Yuugi wants to spend his Christmas with.





	

Title: The Silent Star  
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters  
Pairings: Yami no Yuugi (Atemu) x Yuugi  
Genre: supernatural, romance  
Warnings: shounen ai, melancholy, drama  
Summary: His friends mean well, but there's only one person Yuugi wants to spend his Christmas with. 

Key: ----- = scene change

\----------------------------

With a gentle smile, Mazaki Anzu put her hand on her belly and made a protective, loving, rubbing motion. She was seven months along now, and she radiated that amazing, mystical, soft motherly glow that fit her like a glove.

“I can’t believe this is the last Christmas with just the two of us,” she said. 

Mutou Yuugi sipped his tea. “It must be a strange feeling for you both,” he said. His eyes darted to the wedding ring on her finger. He hadn’t been surprised that Anzu was the first to tie the knot. After her return from the States, where she successfully graduated from a prestigious dancing school, she had met Tatenaka Haru, a nationally well-known ballet choreographer. Not six months later, she was married and pregnant. He was very happy for her, of course. Anzu deserved all the happiness in the world, just like his other friends. 

Five years had passed since he had won the Ceremonial Duel. Five years since Atemu went through the door to the Afterlife, to his well-deserved peace and rest. Five years in which the circle of friends had picked up their lives again, with their ups and downs. Yuugi had taken over the Kame Game Shop after his grandfather’s death a couple of years ago. He retired from active dueling to work fulltime at the store, but his advice and strategy tips were highly sought after. Jounouchi still participated in Duel Monsters tournaments and even trained other duelists, making quite the name for himself as a passionate and very experienced coach. Honda and Otogi, not interested in dueling, focused on their own careers: Honda climbed up the ranks in the military while Otogi had his own chain of Black Crown game stores. Bakura had gone to Domino City University to study psychology and after his graduation he had set up his own practice. 

Five years was quite some time, but everyone had settled into a nice, regular life. Yuugi had nothing to complain about: the Game Shop did well, he had a roof over his head, his mother was in good health, and he had his friends. He had agreed to meet up with Anzu for a lunch ‘date’, as they regularly did to stay in touch with each other. He always enjoyed their get-togethers, but he knew that at this time of the year, late December, a certain yet inevitable topic had to come up.

“We’re looking forward to be with the three of us,” Anzu said as she took a bite from her healthy salad. From under her brown bangs, she gazed at Yuugi. “What about you? What are your plans for this year’s Christmas?”

“Nothing in particular,” he answered smoothly. “Just like the previous years.”

“And your mother?”

“She’s been invited by friends to spend a couple of days with them in Hokkaido, sharing Christmas dinner and visiting some shrines.”

“Oh, that’s so nice! But that means…. you’ll be at home all alone, Yuugi.”

“Anzu, please. Please, don’t.” She frowned a little, albeit not offended or hurt. Yuugi wished he could take back his words nonetheless, or at least take the sting out of them; he sounded curt, rude even. He’d never been curt with his friends. It just was… this topic was grating on his nerves. He wasn’t some kind of lonely recluse who needed hand-holding to make it through one day of Christmas. Anzu calmly sipped her mineral water, but her eyes never left him.

“We’re not worried about you,” she said, voice soft. “However… we do wonder sometimes… you two were so close, Yuugi. Closer than anyone could ever be. Closer than anyone could ever comprehend.”

“You could say that again.” He tried to pass it off as a quip, but she shook her head. She wouldn’t have any of it.

“I’ve never asked you before, but I’m asking you now.” Her elegant fingers curled around the glass. “Are you still alone because of him?”

“I don’t think that my having not a partner has anything to do with it,” Yuugi said. “He’s gone, Anzu. There’s no way he can be brought back. When the door closed, it was final.” 

She shivered. She had been there, at the Ceremonial Duel, so she knew what he was talking about. Her grip on the glass intensified, turning her knuckles white. “He’s gone,” she repeated as if she had to convince herself. After a moment of silence, she continued: “I don’t believe he’s gone from your mind, Yuugi.”

He reached over the table to put his hand over hers, gently. “He was your friend too.” 

“He was.” She brightened up a little. “It would’ve been wonderful if he’d been here, you know? He could’ve spent Christmas with you and the rest of us.”

“That would’ve been wonderful indeed. Unfortunately, that’s not reality, Anzu. Don’t start worrying about me now. I’m fine.”

She didn’t pry, for which he was grateful. “You know you’re always welcome at our place, should you change your mind.”

“I know. Thank you.” He finished his tea. She meant well, just like the others. He was almost tempted to accept one of their invitations, just to get rid of their idea that he needed comfort. Yuugi got along great with Anzu’s husband and with any significant other of his friends. Jounouchi was single at the moment, but previous girlfriends had always been nice and funny. Honda was engaged to marry and his fiancée was a perfect match for him, as she was very clean and neat, almost with military precision. Otogi’s current girlfriend was very fond of sports anime and couldn’t believe that Yuugi didn’t have a girl on his every finger. “You own a business and a house, you’re kind and social… I don’t understand why you’re not married yet! It might have something to do with you living with your mother…” He had kindly explained to her that family was important to him, especially after the sudden loss of his grandfather. She understood, but still tried to set him up on dates, which he always declined.

“At least I don’t have to do all the decorating and the cooking,” Anzu said. “My mother-in-law is so afraid I’ll overexert myself that she ordered me to sit tight and not move a muscle. I think I’m going to enjoy being pampered!”

“You deserve to be pampered, Anzu. I hope you’re going to have a lovely Christmas time,” Yuugi said and checked his watch.

“Time to go back to the store?”

“Yes, I better head back. Sales are through the roof at the moment…the younger generations like to follow the American tradition of giving gifts to each other, and they spend quite some money on the latest games and gaming consoles.”

“I wouldn’t want you to lose out on any sales.” She opened her purse to search for her wallet. “I really liked our lunch date, Yuugi.”

He chuckled. “It’s a good thing your husband knows who you’re hanging out with.”

She hid a smile behind her hand. “He doesn’t see you as a threat.”

“No one does.” He winked at her. “I’ll pick up the tab, if you don’t mind.”

“Actually, I do,” she said dryly. “You paid last time, and the time before that. You might own a successful business, but that doesn’t mean you have to pay for everything.” 

He decided not to protest. After all, it had just been lunch. “Thank you, Anzu. Don’t forget to give Haru-kun my regards, all right?”

“I won’t. And remember… you’re welcome.”

“Thank you,” he repeated and got up from his seat. They said their goodbyes; they both had to take the subway home, but each into a different direction. Yuugi promised to call her soon and after one more wave goodbye, their ways parted.

\----------------------------------

Back at the Game Shop, Yuugi opened the store for the rest of the afternoon. He hadn’t exaggerated about the Christmas sales, he was almost out of stock! He was glad he had the foresight of ordering that many consoles and video games. He didn’t like to sell ‘no’ and the profits were more than welcome, obviously. After closing time, he stretched and yawned. Yuugi was tired, having stood on his feet for almost the entire day. He went upstairs to the kitchen, reveling in the delicious scents wafting towards him. His mother liked cooking and he was glad; he hated stirring into pots and pans, and he would burn water if he had to prepare his own food.

At the top of the stairs, he halted suddenly. He prepared himself mentally for the upcoming conversation. His mother would bring up the same topic as Anzu, and she’d be even more difficult to convince. Inhaling a deep gust of breath, Yuugi braced himself and ventured into the kitchen.

“Kaa-san,” he greeted her.

“Yuugi-kun, you’re nice on time for dinner!” She turned off the stove. “Take a seat, we can eat right away.”

“That’s good, I’m quite hungry,” he said. He settled at the kitchen table, his eyes as always darting over at the chair to his left, where his grandfather used to sit. His mother served dinner and Yuugi picked up his chopsticks. 

“I’ve been thinking about Christmas,” she started. Great, she didn’t waste any time to bring it up. He hid the lower half of his face behind his bowl of miso. “This year, I’m staying home. I hate the thought of you being alone.”

“Kaa-san, you don’t have to,” Yuugi said. “You like spending time with your friends in Hokkaido and you don’t see them all that often. Christmas doesn’t have any religious or personal meaning to me. It’s a normal, every-day workday. You should be with your friends…”

“But you should be with friends too, Yuugi-kun. I know they have invited you. Why don’t you accept one of their invitations? They want you to be there with them, and if they can take the time to do something special, so can you.” She hesitated. “Or is it because they all have a partner and you don’t?”

“Jounouchi-kun is single at the moment,” Yuugi pointed out. 

“You could spend Christmas with him, then!” She was quick to answer. Yuugi spared himself the answer by slurping the rest of his noodles. Yeah, Jounouchi had send him an invitation but he had declined once again. 

“Maybe,” he said, keeping his voice neutral. If he were to call Jounouchi right now, his best friend would be more than happy to welcome him. It was just… well, he had _other_ plans, and not the kind he could share.

His mother looked at him expectantly. “Jounouchi-kun would love it, I’m sure,” she said. “For most people, Christmas is really special.”

“Kaa-san, it’s a Christian holiday. We’re not Christians. It’s a commercial event. I’ve sold more gaming consoles this month than in the entire year, just because it’s ‘Christmas’. Like I said, it has no religious or personal meaning to me. It’s just another business day, no big deal.”

She pouted and once again he regretted his words. “I’m sorry kaa-san, I know you like Christmas. It wasn’t my intention to belittle the holiday. But your experience of it is very different than mine.”

“Maybe later, when you’re married and have children, Christmas will mean so much more to you. I do admit, it’s a bit commercial…” she coughed, as she had spend quite some yen on several tacky red-and-white decorations, “…but the atmosphere, the music, the lights.. I really enjoy it.”

“That’s great,” Yuugi said, smiling at her. “And that’s why you should spend it in the company of your friends, who enjoy it as much as you do. Seriously, kaa-san… why spend a day with a grinch like me when you can have joy and fun with your friends?”

“Because that grinch is my son,” she simply said. “My wonderful son.”

Yuugi blushed faintly. He really started to dislike the extreme emotions people attached to Christmas. Why did people get so hung up on one day every year to do ‘something special’, and ‘being with each other’? What made Christmas so special? Wasn’t it just better to be there for each other all year long? He almost felt guilty to not be engrossed with the holiday like anyone else, and not seeing the necessity of buying all kinds of stuff and eating a humongous dinner. Besides, was it that bad to be single? Why the drama of ‘you shouldn’t be alone with Christmas?’ He didn’t feel alone or lonely at all and it annoyed him that people thought otherwise. 

“I’ll be fine, kaa-san,” he said, his voice mild. “Please don’t worry about me.”

She looked at him quizzically before heaving a sigh. “All right, Yuugi-kun. I still don’t like it, but you’re right… I do love to see my friends and the Hokkaido Christmas market is amazing. Next year however, I’ll stay home.”

Yuugi send her another smile, relief flowing through his veins. This was the way their Christmas conversation usually ended: by his mother firmly deciding that she’d stay home next year. Well, he’d cross that bridge when it was December again. They finished up their dinner in an amiable mood and Yuugi helped her with the dishes, before retreating to the guestroom that’d been remodeled into an office, so he could do his business administration.

\---------------------------------------

Yuugi opened the Kame Game store and prepared himself for a busy day with last-minute shoppers. He ran a little late this morning, as he had first accompanied his mother to the subway to see her off to Hokkaido. She was still a little hesitant and he had to reassure her once more that he’d be fine. As soon as he opened up shop, he was too busy to think about Christmas at all. Though the store was far from being swamped, plenty of customers visited and Yuugi was constantly occupied. After five, the store was empty and as it was getting close to six, his official closing time, Yuugi figured no one would show up anymore.

He flipped his sign from ‘open’ to ‘close’; it was enough for the day. He wasn’t in the mood to count his register or to clean up; Yuugi swept the floor just to get rid of the biggest mess and used a brush and dustpan to dump it all in the bin. The displays needed restocking and the counter could use a good cleaning; it’d have to wait until tomorrow. Yuugi didn’t expect many customers on the day of Christmas itself; experiences from the last year had taught him it wasn’t a busy day. He placed the cash register into the safe; his grandfather had been very trusty and didn’t believe in such precautions, but Yuugi did. He locked up the safe and every door on the ground floor before ascending the stairs. 

His mother had left food enough to feed an army’s worth in the fridge. He didn’t know what to choose, she had stacked so many different dishes. What was she thinking, that he was going to starve in the few days she wasn’t there? It amused him though, and he knew how much she cared. After deliberation, Yuugi settled upon a mixed rice dish that he could heat up in the microwave. He ate his dinner at the kitchen table. So it was Christmas Eve. A special evening for lovers, a special moment to spend time with the one you loved. He put his chopsticks down. There was only one person he loved, and he couldn’t be here. Not now, not ever. Did all of his friends know, or rather, suspect what was going on…? Anzu had been difficult to convince this year and Jounouchi and Honda had bombarded him with messages. He scowled, but not at his friends. Christmas wasn’t the most difficult day of the year, not at all. It was the day that he had to say goodbye to his Pharaoh. That date was engraved in his mind, and that day was the day he didn’t wish to talk to or see anyone. 

Yuugi’s appetite was gone. He thought earlier he wanted to have seconds, but now he rinsed and washed his bowl, skipping the dessert in the fridge. He wanted to go upstairs, to his bedroom. It was still early in the evening, but that didn’t matter. Yuugi turned off the lights and went to the attic. From under his bed, he pulled out a small bag. In-between work and his lunch ‘date’ with Anzu, he’d done his own shopping. Yuugi put the bag on his bed and opened it, retrieving it contents. Three tall, purple pillar candles. Incense. A bottle of Chardonnay and a crystal glass. Shampoo, shower gel and cologne with main ingredients like vanilla, honey and almond. A brand-new pair of pajamas, made of pure Egyptian cotton. 

He touched the objects reverently as he laid them out on his bed. First, he turned up the heater in his room. Then, his movements calm and composed, he undressed himself and stepped into the adjacent bathroom, a luxury he had had installed a while ago. Renovations to the building had been necessary as grandfather hadn’t kept up-to-date with the general maintenance. When the roof had started leaking, Yuugi had taken the opportunity to reconstruct the house, including his own bathroom. His mother was a bit taken aback at first, but now she thought it was very handy. Yuugi took a shower, taking his time to care for his body, using the products he had bought. 

After he was done, the combined scents of the vanilla, honey and almond clung deliciously to him. It didn’t come close to the scent he was trying to mimic, but that was simply impossible. Yuugi continued to dry himself off, patting his skin. He looked at himself in the mirror. He still looked much younger than he was, but the childish traits were gone. His eyes had changed shape; they weren’t as wide as they used to be. Ever since the Ceremonial Duel, Yuugi felt older than his peers. He hadn’t mentioned it to his friends as to not have them worried about him; he hadn’t mentioned a lot of things. His hand went to his chest. The Puzzle wasn’t there anymore. He missed its familiar weight. 

His bedroom was warmed up by now. If he wanted to, he could walk around naked and not feel any chills. Yuugi disposed of the towels he had used to dry himself off and picked up the pajamas. He removed the packaging and put the garment on. The luxurious fabric slid over his skin, giving him instant comfort. He busied himself by pouring the wine in the crystal glass and lighting the candles and the incense. Sandalwood, cinnamon, spices he couldn’t identify, blended together into a unique fragrance… a shiver went down his spine. It reminded him so much of his Other, the one he had called ‘Other me’ for over two years… Yuugi took a step back and inhaled the scents; rich, deep and dark. 

The air in the room was heavy, and not only with the scents from the incense and the used bath products. It was as close as he could get. Everything had been prepared now. Earlier this morning he had changed his bed sheets; he wanted everything to be clean and fresh. A bit silly perhaps, but it was the thought that counted… physically, Yuugi wasn’t tired yet, but he pulled back the sheets and he rolled into his bed. Yuugi closed his eyes. The warmth and the heavenly fragrance didn’t miss their effect, but Yuugi never had any trouble falling asleep. Especially not this evening. Everything was ready. 

When he opened his eyes again, he was in his Soul Room. Not many people were aware of having one, let alone able to enter it. He hadn’t known either if he had a Soul Room if it hadn’t been for the former nameless Spirit released from the Puzzle, after Yuugi had solved it. The moment the Pharaoh was aware of himself again, his Soul Room had been created too: an Escher-like maze with a thousand doors, representing his lost memories. After the events of the Memory World and with his memories retrieved, the labyrinth had magically dissolved and what remained, was one big room; the room constructed from his memories with Yuugi and his friends. He looked around. 

His Soul Room used to be littered with toys, representing his young naivety and innocence. Over the years, the interior had changed: the bright, baby-blue and white colors had deepened into sandy, beige and brown. The toys had been replaced by furniture: a side table, a chest, a cupboard and a large bed. The incense he had lit in his real bedroom carried over to his Soul Room, changing the air and he inhaled the scent anew. He could cross the hallway to the other Soul Room, but truth to be told, he didn’t dare. He didn’t want to end up in the large room; despite all the happy memories in there, it still reminded him of the definitive day he had said goodbye. In his own Soul Room, he felt safer and at ease…

“Aibou.” His voice. 

“Mou hitori no boku,” Yuugi said. It felt so good to say it. To call him like that again. He didn’t dare to turn around yet. “You have come.”

A violent shiver went through him as hands came to rest upon his shoulders. A soft breath tickled his skin, creating goosebumps all over. 

“You smell divine.”

Yuugi finally turned around, looking straight at Atemu’s face. He brought up his hands and touched him. Firm, supple skin; the golden tan contrasting with the beige shenti and the gold jewelry he was wearing. His thumbs stroke the large earrings reaching down to his shoulders; Yuugi moved his right hand up higher to touch the crown. With his fingers, he traced the outline of Atemu’s face. The Pharaoh allowed him to examine him, waiting patiently until Yuugi touched his lips, and he parted them, pressing a light kiss to his thumb.

“I missed you so much.” Yuugi withdrew his hands and put them against Atemu’s chest. The other wrapped his arms around Yuugi and pulled him close. His strong heartbeat was music to his ears. “Atemu…”

“We have so little time.” He kissed him in the crook of his neck, causing Yuugi to shiver again. “Tell me, my love, how you have been… and the others?”

Breathlessly, Yuugi told in short sentences about himself and his friends. Atemu was happy to learn about Anzu’s pregnancy, wishing all the best for her. For the rest, not much had changed since the last time they met in Yuugi’s Soul Room, but he knew that Atemu wanted to know. They sat down on the bed and as Yuugi talked, Atemu undressed him and himself, his movements not hurried, but filled with love and care. Yuugi admired him, his presence, his physique… Atemu hadn’t changed, as always the Pharaoh, strong and proud, confident and determined. He stopped talking and Atemu used the moment to kiss him. They continued to kiss, hungrily, passionately. Yuugi felt warm all over, returning the gestures, touching Atemu all over, his hands sliding down his sides, stroking the flawless skin. 

“I love you so much,” he said.

“I love you too.” Atemu was wearing nothing but his jewelry and Yuugi’s pajamas were on the floor. He gently laid Yuugi down, kissing him on the lips as he did so. The bed was very soft and warmth and comfort surrounded him. He reacted to Atemu’s actions, reveling in the attention. 

He had never asked himself whether this was magic, shadow powers or his own imagination; he got this chance only once a year… on Christmas Eve… to see the one he loved so much. _Are you still alone because of him?_ He had never given Anzu an answer. He had never given it a thought to look for someone else, to look for a partner. As long as Atemu was in his life, even for just one hour in an entire year, there would be no room for anyone else. Deep down in his heart, he knew that this wasn’t going to last forever, and it wasn’t a real relationship to speak of… but he didn’t want to think about it, not now, not at the moment he was in the arms of the love of his life. 

He could feel everything: the heat, the touches, the caresses, the kisses. Atemu was on top of him, and as he leaned into him, his large earrings shifted with the movement and the cold gold touched Yuugi’s skin. He gasped and he moaned, overwhelmed, taken by storm. His need was so dire, his body demanded it, hungered for it, and he gave himself to his Pharaoh, trusting him unconditionally, wanting him to take him, to do to him whatever he desired. The heat, the building sensations, the proximity of Atemu’s warm body, strong and firm, and Yuugi clung to him, not wanting to ever let him go. His need was met and answered with the same urgency and Yuugi cried out, arching his back, releasing all his tension along with frustration, sadness, exposing his vulnerability, mentally and physically. He sank back into the pillows, breathing erratically. 

Atemu held him in his arms, nuzzling him. He didn’t speak; every extra movement or exertion took too much energy, too much magic, or whatever it was that kept him solid in his Soul Room for now. Yuugi looked at him through half-lidded eyes, taking in his beauty and his strength. What else was there to be said? _There’s no way he can be brought back._ The pain already found its way back to his heart, so soon after these moments of bliss.

“When will I see you again?” he asked. 

Atemu didn’t answer immediately. His gentle, wistful smile told Yuugi enough. It wasn’t fair. He shifted his position a little and kissed him once more.

“It is time for you to let it go,” he said. “To let me go.”

“I can’t,” Yuugi shook his head. “Please. Mou hitori no boku…”

“I am not your Other Me any longer.” Atemu kissed him on the cheek. “You are the one and only Mutou Yuugi in the world.”

“I don’t want to be,” Yuugi whispered. “Stay with me. I want to stay with you. Whatever I need to do…”

“I will see you again,” Atemu said. “Do not worry, aibou. I will always be with you.”

“Stop.” Tears welled up in his eyes, much to his own frustration. “I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to carry you in my heart only. I want to hold your hand. I want to wake up next to you and kiss you. I want to make you breakfast. I want to buy you silly gifts on Christmas Eve.”

“I love you.” Another kiss, right on his wet cheek, and Atemu’s lips glistened with the moisture. “My beautiful, strong and courageous Yuugi.”

“Please don’t go,” Yuugi breathed, but the Pharaoh started to fade already. He quickly rubbed at his eyes, not wanting Atemu’s last look on him to be the one of a crying mess. If he had to wait another year again… but Atemu was gone and Yuugi was alone in his Soul Room. 

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Yuugi swallowed. He felt joyous and happy, but waking up alone in the bedroom drove the point home, painstakingly hard. After a while, he pushed the heavy sheets and blankets away and left his bed to turn the heater down and blow out the candles. It had been such a short amount of time, and every year it became even shorter. 

_Time to let me go_. He knew. “I can’t,” he said again, his voice slightly trembling. He could still feel Atemu’s fingers on him, touching his body. So wonderful, so short… he went to the last candle to blow it out, and his eyes fell upon the glass of Chardonnay. It was half empty. Yuugi picked up the glass and drank the rest; the alcohol would numb the pain, if only momentarily. He was still wearing his pajamas, but his buttons were in disarray. With a similar wistful smile on his face, Yuugi stepped into his bed again. He had a sinking feeling that this evening had been the last time he’d seen his Pharaoh. It was hard to believe it, he didn’t want to believe it! 

Yet, he had to face reality… it was probably getting more and more difficult for Atemu to muster up the magic to return from the Afterlife to his Soul Room… or perhaps it was his own fault; with time passing and the years going by, his memories of Atemu faded? No, it couldn’t be. He loved him so much, and Atemu loved him! Oh, if only they could build a real life on the love they felt for each other… one sentence chased the dark thoughts away and gave him hope. _I will see you again_. Yes, yes, he would. When his final moment would come, he would see his Pharaoh, and then they would never have to wait until Christmas Eve again to hold each other for eternity.

\------------------------------- 


End file.
